springtime...in my secret life

Thursday early evening, am just settling in and listening to the recurring soundtrack of my recent life: "Leonard Cohen: Ten New Songs".

This was a marvellous gift from a close friend, and I must admit it's been a fixture in my CD player ever since. Cohen's smoke-stained and soulful music (how he makes the synthesizer sound sexy is still beyond me), speaks to my present state of mind. His play of stale-mated passions, occasional moments of communion and constant searching after the nature of love create a perfect storm for my love-fatigued navel gazing...apparently.

Not that I'm so far gone, but when the world begins to thaw and blossom into the full flush of the springtime, our thoughts are suppose to turn to love and all that romantic blah, blah, blah. And because I'm terribly suspicious of that kind of "romantic blah, blah, blah" I need to fortify my defences, and build up some kind of provisional safeguards against being swept away by the season. So I turn to Cohen. He reminds anyone with ears to hear that love is a paradox, a rich contradiction, and that failed love is not defeat if you refuse an easy denial and instead embrace the ending with an equal force of love. Okay, so I've had a few things on my mind...

But to share a little with those who may not be familiar with Cohen, a supremely gifted poet (if not the most classically adept singer), here are the lyrics from my perennial favorite, Alexandra Leaving:

Suddenly the night has grown colder.
The God of love preparing to depart.
Alexandra hoisted on his shoulder,
They slip between the sentries of the heart.

Upheld by the simplicities of pleasure,
They gain the light, they formlessly entwine;
And radiant beyond your widest measure
They fall among the voices and the wine.

It’s not a trick, your senses all deceiving,
A fitful dream, the morning will exhaust
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

Even though she sleeps upon your satin;
Even though she wakes you with a kiss.
Do not say the moment was imagined;
Do not stoop to strategies like this.

As someone long prepared for this to happen,
Go firmly to the window. drink it in.
Exquisite music. Alexandra laughing.
Your firm commitments tangible again.

And you who had the honor of her evening,
And by the honor had your own restored
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving;
Alexandra leaving with her lord.

Even though she sleeps upon your satin;
Even though she wakes you with a kiss.
Do not say the moment was imagined;
Do not stoop to strategies like this.

As someone long prepared for the occasion;
In full command of every plan you wrecked
Do not choose a coward’s explanation
That hides behind the cause and the effect.

And you who were bewildered by a meaning;
Whose code was broken, crucifix uncrossed
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

And so there you have it...a small taste of the state of things in the springtime of "my secret life"...