springtime...in my secret life

Thursday early evening, am just settling in and listening to the recurring soundtrack of my recent life: "Leonard Cohen: Ten New Songs".

This was a marvellous gift from a close friend, and I must admit it's been a fixture in my CD player ever since. Cohen's smoke-stained and soulful music (how he makes the synthesizer sound sexy is still beyond me), speaks to my present state of mind. His play of stale-mated passions, occasional moments of communion and constant searching after the nature of love create a perfect storm for my love-fatigued navel gazing...apparently.

Not that I'm so far gone, but when the world begins to thaw and blossom into the full flush of the springtime, our thoughts are suppose to turn to love and all that romantic blah, blah, blah. And because I'm terribly suspicious of that kind of "romantic blah, blah, blah" I need to fortify my defences, and build up some kind of provisional safeguards against being swept away by the season. So I turn to Cohen. He reminds anyone with ears to hear that love is a paradox, a rich contradiction, and that failed love is not defeat if you refuse an easy denial and instead embrace the ending with an equal force of love. Okay, so I've had a few things on my mind...

But to share a little with those who may not be familiar with Cohen, a supremely gifted poet (if not the most classically adept singer), here are the lyrics from my perennial favorite, Alexandra Leaving:

Suddenly the night has grown colder.
The God of love preparing to depart.
Alexandra hoisted on his shoulder,
They slip between the sentries of the heart.

Upheld by the simplicities of pleasure,
They gain the light, they formlessly entwine;
And radiant beyond your widest measure
They fall among the voices and the wine.

It’s not a trick, your senses all deceiving,
A fitful dream, the morning will exhaust
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

Even though she sleeps upon your satin;
Even though she wakes you with a kiss.
Do not say the moment was imagined;
Do not stoop to strategies like this.

As someone long prepared for this to happen,
Go firmly to the window. drink it in.
Exquisite music. Alexandra laughing.
Your firm commitments tangible again.

And you who had the honor of her evening,
And by the honor had your own restored
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving;
Alexandra leaving with her lord.

Even though she sleeps upon your satin;
Even though she wakes you with a kiss.
Do not say the moment was imagined;
Do not stoop to strategies like this.

As someone long prepared for the occasion;
In full command of every plan you wrecked
Do not choose a coward’s explanation
That hides behind the cause and the effect.

And you who were bewildered by a meaning;
Whose code was broken, crucifix uncrossed
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

And so there you have it...a small taste of the state of things in the springtime of "my secret life"...

shall i call this retox?

Ah yes, the detox is now over. Farewell penicillin, it was fun while it lasted...

(en)forced detox; willpower optional or, 'how i learned to stop worrying and love the pills'

A farewell to wines, liquors, malts and spirits of all kinds for at least the next few days. This past week has been an enforced detox, thanks in no small part to the temporary residency of a small colony of bacteria in my throat (prime real estate), and the subsequent prescription of antibiotics to evict said unwanted residents. So, my St. Patty's day involved nothing more ambitious than a walk in the windy downtown of Pleasant Valley, followed by the screening of my latest French & Saunders acquisition. Actually, on balance it was a really enjoyable and hugely relaxing night. I may be happily relishing my detox more than is typical or even healthy for a young twenty-something habitually prone to answering the "last call". I think the down-time was much needed, and my body may have invited the unpleasant bacterial guests as a way of forcing me to slow down and take a bit of time to take stock of recent weeks. Man, it's been 'existentially dense' in the 'valley' to say the least...

Did I mention the Prime Minister is becoming a power-hungry tyrant? Okay, I'll admit that sentence was perhaps a mild exaggeration, but the recent consolidation of power in the PMO and the subtle changes to government procedure (think Supreme Court nominees), and policy (there are ONLY 5 important things we must do, as spelled out in the CPC election-winning platform) have got me nervous. Politics in Pleasant Valley used to be fun, dramatic, somewhat foolish, but generally benign. It's been a while since gravitas has weighed down the political scene, and made Canadians aware of the real (not simply latent) power invested in the PM and his Ministers. Now the PM must approve ALL official communications by the Ministers and high-level bureaucrats, and the press shall henceforth be kept at a comfortable arms-length from the halls of power -- it's inconvenient to have to answer questions so soon after major national decisions have been taken behind closed doors, apparently. Sigh. This is a "wait and watch" situation for now. I've just finished reading A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry, so my opinions and impressions are quite deeply influenced by the example of other nations where power consolidation in the name of national security and stability is never a path to social prosperity, but more typically the first stage in the unmaking of democracy.

I'm sorry Mr. Harper (Rt. Hon), but democracy is a little messier than you may have suspected, and in some instances may even require DIALOGUE. Oh, and sometimes dissent creeps into the workings of government too. Just an FYI...